


A Rose By Any Other Name

by ClockworkAutomaton



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Fluff, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 10:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15794877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkAutomaton/pseuds/ClockworkAutomaton
Summary: Gustav is quite fond of Monty's newest discovery, but he thinks that its name could use some work.





	A Rose By Any Other Name

On that morning, warm spring sun shone in through the massive windows of the Reptile Room, glistening on the plant’s leaves and catching on the planes of glass and tangles of metal that made up the animals' various tanks and enclosures. Inside, Gustav and Monty talked quietly, filling the still morning with idle chatter as they caught up and tended to the day’s duties.

Next to one of the largest enclosures, Gustav ran a hand along a snake’s sleek black scales as it wound its way around his shoulders. The creature was truly a sight to behold, iridescent like a raven under the warm light and heavy with muscle and a set of massive fangs, but it was almost unnaturally gentle when handled.

“Quite a beauty you’ve found, Monty.” The snake lifted its head; it’s tongue flicking against Gustav’s cheek before it nuzzled into his hair. “Have you named him yet?”

“I’m so glad you asked, Gustav.” At his desk, which was littered with messy journals and half finished copies of data sheets, Monty looked up from his work with a cheeky smile. “The magnificent creature that you are currently holding is called the Incredibly Deadly Viper.”

Gustav froze, his hand hovering over the snake’s head. “I’m sorry- It’s called the _what now?_ “ The snake nudged at his hand with its head, seemingly puzzled at the lack of petting that was currently occurring and disappointed when the gentle urging did not bring about its return.

“The Incredibly Deadly Viper.” Monty said, still smiling and seemingly basking in the look of dawning horror on his assistant’s face. “A lovely name, isn’t it?”

“Monty.” Gustav reached out to begin disentangling the snake from around his neck and then froze and pulled back, cringing. “Please tell me that you did not let me play with an _incredibly deadly_ snake without telling me first.”

“Oh, Gustav, you wound me, my boy.” Monty pushed himself out of his chair with a dramatic little flourish, clutching at his chest in mock pain but unable to keep from smiling. “I would never do such a thing.” He stepped over and gave the snake a gentle scratch behind its cheeks. “Its a misnomer; the Incredibly Deadly Viper is not at all deadly, much less incredibly so. I just wanted to give those stuffy old bastards at the herpetological society a good scare when I present the findings of my latest trip.”

“Monty, you’re a terror.” Gustav said, slouching with relief, or perhaps with the weight of the massive, apparently incredibly harmless snake. “One day you’re going to give someone a heart attack, and I’m not sure if it’ll be me or one of the so-called stuffy old bastards at the herpetological society.”

“Well, you do have a great deal more... Excitement in your life than they do.” Monty tapped Gustav’s chest with a finger as he reached up and plucked the snake from around his neck. “Can’t be very helpful to the ol’ ticker.”

“And I swear half of that ‘excitement’ is you terrifying me all the damn time, you bloody bastard.” Just as with the Incredibly Deadly Viper though, there was no real bite to Gustav’s sharp words. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Monty set the snake back to exploring the Reptile Room and then turned to Gustav, eyes shining with repressed laughter.

“Mhm, I suppose I’ll have to.” Gustav leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, rolling his eyes as he did despite the smile starting to tug and tease at the corners of his mouth.

“I suppose you will.” Monty returned to his desk, his motivation seemingly revived-- for reasons Gustav was sure were independent of any recently bestowed kisses —as he went back to writing and reading and fact checking and double checking.

Gustav smiled in earnest as he watched him work. Idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! <3 This is the first fic I've ever posted to AO3 so I hope you liked it.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at PuzzlingPrince.tumblr.com if you're interested.


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